toe cramp

What makes a toe cramp? And why does one walk like a duck when one's toe is spasming? And how does one twist one's toe to MAKE IT STOP?

The official title of this week is the Week of Misery. Actually, it isn't a full week yet; it IS only Wednesday, and we can still retain hope that it gets better from here. But, probably not.

Since I have emerged (sort of) from the haze of self-loathing, whinging and mental flagellation that was Monday, it now seems acceptable to re-establish slight contact with the happy world outside my mind. Slight contact. Am still considering the possibility that the only potential for my life is to sit in a coffee shop until the Miracle happens to me and I become a successful children's writer with a castle in Scotland. On Fair Isle. The other option discussed with Katharine was running a yarn store. And book shop. On Fair Isle. Next door to a pub. Several of us may be in on this venture, actually -- not just the TAG (Two American Girls). Misery loves company.

It is very much appreciated that people enjoy to the point of occasional smirks my blog and the writing therein (and people should re-affirm this often! Am turning into Stewart Smalley. ha ha). My writing, however, is not good enough. If you haven't picked through all the verbose fuss-potting here, we got two assessments back on Monday. Both of mine were rubbish, apparently. Well, not total rubbish, but rubbish-y enough. The frustrating thing, well things, are:
i was really confident that my assessments were good;
at least in one case I agree with the professor (dammit);
it is week NINE out of 10 weeks;
i had to do a class presentation exercise after getting both scores.

BLACK, BLACK DAY.

To top it all off (but this turned out to be the best part, since I was able to put things more into perspective), I went to a District Rotary meeting. The good part of this was that I was not able to sit home consuming vast amounts of Cadburry chocolate, Welsh Whole Milk (contains milk) and crying. And the videos from Mercy Ships and landmines.org reminded me to stop all of this nonsense and bloody FOCUS on improvement! No wallowing allowed.

Poor Cousine Lindsey Skyped me just when I got home on Monday, and so she got to listen to me in full Wallow Mode. Apologies for that travesty. But she sent the most fabulous Group Thanksgiving Card from the Whole Fam-damly (except for the new part of the family, and related Parental Units)! And that slightly un-reddened my eyes before Rotary :)

So, now am off to "Focus, focus, focus..."

I may not have done so well on my OWLS, but there is still hope for my NEWTS!
(thank you, Paul, for this appropriate phraseology)

Toe cramp is gone!