The Last Post

This is the last post from your correspondent Bonnie Blue here in Cardiff.

But I would never, ever, evvvvah leave my readers aimlessly looking for a focus for their attention! The new blog will be located at:

Bonnie Blue in Norwich

and should begin being posted sometime next week for your amusement and viewing pleasure.

My final word before loading the car (as I am not entirely confident in my ability to cram everything in in a reasonable manner by myself, so that all important items are hidden in the trunk and will not inspire thievery by anyone who might happen to chance upon the car whilst it is cleverly parked at Hammersmith tonight, since parking in London is about as plentiful as teeth in a chicken's mouth), will be to inform on a triple killing which occurred here at 139 Glenroy Street at approximately 8.14 pm last evening. It is crucial that I make it clear that this had nothing to do with me directly. I was not consulted before three little friends were dumped into Carrot and Jasper's habitat.

We had carefully selected the largest snails from the vegetation display at Pets at Home on Newport Road... They had such a bright future ahead of them as little algae eliminators. And there was so much algae to be eliminated... Within about 4.3 seconds of being put in the water, two snails had disappeared into the gullets of each of the ridiculously porky fish. They then proceeded to flap their mouths open and shut for quite a while -- completing the morbid process of snail-with-shell mastication.

B was in charge of supervising for a bit and when Jasper (the hog) went for the final snail, who we had thought was the biggest and would therefore not be in danger, he alerted me and I chased Jasper with the net and made him spit the snail out. Then we made a 'Green Zone' for the snail, the net placed at an angle around our already industrious snail. The Green Zone was moved as the snail moved and then Jasper swam smack into the net, tilting the Green Zone over (he is an eediot). Although we did our best to manage the Green Zone, the Last Snail was nowhere to be seen by 20.46 (or thereabouts). Shrieking at Jasper did not help.

Today, Jasper is a bit slow, this being due to either extreme gastric distress from too many snail shell pieces or to the addition of oddly coloured rocks into the tank. Jasper has grown and I think he has gotten a little big for his scales and thinks he is a pirana or something.

*****

Other than the triple snailicide, this week has been manic marking 73 Intro to Language exams. I have gleaned some more new words... and some gymnastic ability in logic. Also dominating my time has been attempting to find a place to live in Norwich online (there may be hope) and organising my packing (thank the good Lord, there is not weight limit other than what my little arms can wrench into a Beemer boot).

Tonight, E and I drive to London, where he has a meeting tomorrow. After returning to the cleverly (and hopefully unmolested) car, we will continue the drive to Norwich, which E finally noticed after looking at a map is in the middle of nowhere ('Do you know where Norwich is and how hard it is to get there?'). If luck is with us, we will arrive before dark, have time to look at the two possibilities and I will pick one and move my things inside at the very moment. This will prevent my having to do any hauling and/or lifting at a later time (and by myself. E is brave and strong removal man, plus he cooks.) and my being able to relax a little bit before being at work at 9am on Monday! Fingers, toes, legs, eyes, bridges all need to be crossed, please!

Ooh! Time to go!

See you on the new blog. TTFN.

OOooooHhhhh, AND -- they have given me an MA! Hoorah! Dissertation was marked 65 and final mark was 64, comfortably above PhD standard (according to Dawny. She's the smart one!). So yay!

Pronunciate, you big lout!

Oh dear Lord.

There seems to be a linguistic evolution occurring in the first-year uni student generation or else something ridiculous was announced by the OED whilst I was out of the country (one cannot, however, do free searches on this site --- grrrr... Shockingly, my immediate plans for myself do not include paying £195+VAT for an online subscription anytime in whatever future there may be. Good Lord Almighty.). This horrendous word has appeared several times now in the exams I am marking. Apparently (no thanks to the OEDOnline), this is an actual word and, although quite rare (and perhaps not worthy of the absol. outraged swivet I have gotten myself into today), but I would like to put forth my protestation that this is a non-word (besides the fact that it just sounds stupid) and should not be revived. And this is not just because of my American spelling history; it should vex us all.

Topic (the legality or illegality of this utterly inane combination of enunciate and pronounce) is now open for discussion on this forum. Call me, we'll have coffee. We'll talk. Oyyy, vay.

Renewed obsessive blogging on my various insights into air travel, the wonders of efficiency in the L.A. British Embassy, feline acrobatics, and synchronised chimney-sweeping will recommence once these travesties of intellectual sensibility are marked...

To leave you, my indulgently patient readers, we submit this sentence for your analysis:
'The words may have preceded the action, as a consequence.'

NOT MasterCard. NOT Discover.

These entries are getting ever more spastic.

But, someone has a VISA!!!!!!!

Hoorah! Now, I can stop grinding my teeth during normal daily activities over concern for having to possibly change my flight home :) Grinding teeth is best done at night when you are unaware of the damage you are inflicting upon your maxillofacial regions.

Anyhoo, at Centenary at the moment, catching up with things and tying up some loose ends. Shall possibly return to the activity of blogging in a bit when Mama and I go for her daily internet lesson at the coffee shoppe, before heading home to make an attempt at curry for Brant and Oma for this evening :)

If not, then tomorrow is always another day for procrastinating...

Dishonesty and Sleet

It is slightly dishonest to be writing on here when BonnieBlue is actually in the 'Port of the Shreve (Shreveport -- it is a little linguistic joke that only really silly people get).

Going through techological withdrawal without 24-7 wireless access. But have found a coffee shoppe called Moxie Java in Bossier City which has saved my life and allows me to drink lovely chai latte and communicate with you, my Trolley People.

The pace has been manic, yet absol. not as horribly stressful as anticipated. How am I remaining calm? It has to do with my gorgeous Flee and my fabulous parents and my cute little Oma, I think :)

So the manic part started when the flight left Gatwick an hour late on Friday last. Am assuming this had something to do with wind. Then, the flight went North, which I do not recall as the route from trips before, but then again, my memory is not exactly commendable in some instances. So, we flew over western Scotland and then Iceland and Greenland, which was absolutley amazing and I cannot imagine people living there. One note: from the air, you can see the crinkles of the ocean that are the waves but they do not appear to move at all -- isn't that bizarre? It looks like a static picture -- v. interesante.

Then, once we got over the edges of northern Canada, the ocean was completely frozen (although this might have been bays instead of ocean) and you could see crevasses and fissures in the ice. But it looked like the amazing images in Planet Earth that E and I have been watching the last few weeks. Also v. cool, and staring out the window distracted me from my diligently mad knitting. I am obsessed with staring out windows when travelling; there was, however, NO licking of the window.

So, with the late start and heavy headwinds, the flight arrived into DFW 1:15 late and by the time I debarked (that word makes me laugh), there were approx. 45 minutes for me to make my connection. Upon entry in the immigration barn -- I mean, arrivals hall -- our flight joined about 3,000 other people trying to get through immigration. Admittedly, they did herd us through fairly quickly and on into the luggage hall, where the plan was intended that one collected one's luggage, joined a queue of 2,500 people trying to go through a security checkpoint, and then either departed the building or rechecked one's bags for connecting flights. My second bag came toodling down the carousel at 4.30, giving me 10 minutes until my connection. It might also be amusing to note that myself and 150 pounds of luggage was in Terminal D and my connection was in Terminal B. It did not amuse me. Nor did the fact that there was no way to let my collectors know that they would not be seeing me at the time advised.

Even though my 4.40 flight was delayed until 5.00, there was no way for me to make it, so luggage and self got new travel plans from the nice people. And THEN I had to go through a second entry checkpoint to go BACK into the secure parallel universe that is associated with flight travel. WHY in God's name someone thought it was necessary to make this extra step out-and-in for people continuing to fly elsewhere, I do not know. Stripped to sock feet yet again, but the nice lady told me I had a lovely smile and then I took off at high speed to get to my 6.15 flight. Then my eyes rested for 15 minutes. Then the flight was delayed to 6.30. Then to 6.55. Then 7.05. Then 7.15. Then we moved from gate B34 to B39. Then the flight was delayed to 7.35. Then to 7.55. Then to 8.05... you get the picture. At 8.28, the Lafayette flight was announced for boarding and the people clapped and whooped! hahahaha! Twenty minutes later, our flight was moved to gate B34 (this may sound familar) and then we were threatened that we would not be allowed to board until 3 volunteers were found to go on the next flight. When the puddle jumper finally took off, there was an extra seat next to me and my head was magnetically drawn to it and I drooled all the way to the Shreveport Metropolitan Airport...

oops -- must go now. The mama has come to collect me so's we can get home before the sleet and snow starts sticking on the ground. Will continue at my next computer fix session...

Halfway legal!

The application from UEA to Work Permits UK was mailed late last week and has already been returned to them approved! This is apparently a record :)

Oh. My. Gosh. Hoorah.

I am speechless.
I am baffled.
I am so indescribably relieved!

YAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!

This means that the permit can be overnighted to me here and will be privileged to accompany some china in my carry-on bag on my flight home. This will guarantee that my bag will NOT be out of my sight at all (although I generally do like to leave my baggage in the company of strange people in airports. I tell them it is a Time Machine.) and may even be clutched tightly against my chest even whilst knitting. Although this could become annoying and result in lumpy socks.

Saturday will be spent filling out the teensiest details of my character, intriguing history and skills (including, no doubt: welding, driving a tractor, hunting and my ability to whinny), submitting the form and some more of my financial life blood online, and FedExing supporting documents to an Embassy somewhere so that we can hope for the promised 5-day processing time!

I shall now make myself some tea.

Prints

What?! (this is not meant to be an expression of shock at the fact of my blogging two days in a row. there is a reason for this event, which will be discussed later -- so as to build suspense.) The US has now decided to fingerprint all ten digits of British tourists upon entry. Oh yes, this is just a superb idea. Showing solidarity and building upon our history of international cooperation. (sarcasm, please) This appears shady and slightly absurd since the so much of FAA security is a comical joke, especially in comparison to flight security here. I was not fingerprinted coming here neither as a tourist nor on the student visa, nor as far as I know were my credit card details and/or email addresses examined before my entry. Well, I did have to stand in an obscenely long line to get through security but at least there were orderly queues instead of the cattle herding experience of customs through, for example, Atlanta, St. Louis or DFW.

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Our second topic today will be the problems of apathy one experiences in the final phases of packing, whether one is packing things for storage in a kind soul's house or packing for a trip. The final phase involves a random selection of items which have either a) not been able to be organised with an earlier section of packing (e.g., binoculars) or b) could have been organised with earlier items but were sadly overlooked (e.g., a book of Elizabethan plays) and which now will be completely unrelated to the objects alongside which they are placed. Resulting lack of OCD inspiration leads one to look to one's blogger account for solace and time-usage purposes.

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For a completely different news item, we have a mouse in our house :) It apparently lives in the kitchen behind the washing machine. Diana hates mice more than any other creature in the world. This is the point where I could point out the usefulness of precious Skimble in this situation, but we are going to try the letting agency first. However, if CPS's treatment of mold on my wall is any indication, we should have a village of mice within a month. Perhaps they could start paying rent.

I wonder when the mold will start to look like Elvis... maybe this will be my next distraction from packing staplers and proof of the Nigerian's plagiarism.

Dixie, cousines and reappearing scarf

Is it an omen that there was a car horn honking that played 'Dixie' whilst I walked home from work last week? Does this mean people will be happy to see me? Or does this mean they will think me a traitor for leaving Dixie? Hmm. A quandry. But not one to dwell on for long. My Oma, my parental units and my feline unit will be happy to see me (as well as the auntees and unclees and cousin(e)s) at least and they are all that matters :) That feline unit had best not run and hide from me in terror and tormented fear or I shall be most vexed.

Okay. So, yes, it is apparent that my blogging skills have been excessively lax. This has been pointed out by numerous people on numerous occasions and for my negligence I do apologise profusely (because my life is a comedy and depriving others of the opportunity to chortle is b-a-d). I shall try to fill everyone in in a not-too-confusing manner.

Firstly, the Cousine, Lady Lindsey LovelyLocks, arrived for une visite on Monday 18 December and was able to witness the spastic life of Amrie first-hand via my obscene work schedule and manic evening outings to such events as the pantomime (Jack and the Beanstalk) and non-occurring Quiz Nights, where we were able to meet random nutter people who just decided to join into our group's conversation (now she can report that it is not exaggeration on my part that the insane find me conversationally irresistable) :) She learned not to say to Simon Rowe, 'Surprise me!' in reference to a beverage order. She learned that Germans and Americans frequently communicate in Andy voices. She learned what a chav is. Very educational trip! It really was so fabulous to see a member of the fambly, although a much slower schedule on my part might have prevented both of us from becoming a bit sniffly-ill by the time she departed on Christmas Eve :( When I have a normal life again and people visit me....

But anyhoo, then was Christmas. The sniffly-illness overcame me on Christmas Day and I was mostly unable to move and function generally at all other than sporadic fits of temper at phone and internet, and E was left to do the entire Christmas dinner by himself :( But the positive part about this was that everything was perfectly grand and marvelous and the turkey was absolutely GORgeous (again)! There were six for dinner: Diana (my housemate, Columbian), B (E's housemate, South African), Soren (B's friend, Malaysian), Aparnah (my friend from Lush, Indian), Eamonn (Wirish) and me (Loon). We had a flaming Christmas pudding (and actually there is still another one marinating in brandy at E's house -- it may burn the house down should it be lit now...)

Then there was Boxing Day, during which I continued in my sniffly lethargy and knitted and watched movies all. day. long. But a rest was really, really nice after working 60 hour weeks. And this rest allowed me to go on living :)

Then came the point where I started to get annoyed at the shady Nigerian guy who still has not paid for his transcription.... 225 pounds worth. It seems like he will possibly pay 'within the next couple of weeks' but he has ruined my niceness for future transcription customers. There will be information withheld in future until payment is made. (The sad thing is that I have had no problems with this before this rubbish guy.)

This past Friday was my last day on the rotor at LUSH (although I might be put back on for a few shifts if I am back in Cardiff for any length of time before The (tentatively, she says) Move.)

*********
Oh. This is where I suppose publishing of official notification on the blog should occur...

So, I will be returning to the 'Port on Friday for the first time since my Sept 2005 departure. It seems like forever that I have been in Cardiff and at the same time yesterday that I left, until I realise that I have missed my Daddy's 70th b-day; Ralph has passed away; many, many of my friends have had babies or are expecting soon; Paul's precious Chickory doggy reached the end; Therese's Penelope also had to go on; my parents have rescued and then adopted out innumerable kitties; I have missed two Thanksgivings and two Christmases, at least one Paul and Al Crawfish Boil; and have not eaten proper Mexican food in 16 months -- the horror!

During my trip to Loosyanna, I will be selling more of my furniture (advertisement), attempting to organise my life and help Mama and Daddy think about getting internet so's we can talk fo' free, speaking to Rotary clubs, and buying macaroni and cheese for Steffi (my German housemate who misses it terribly -- they don't make it right here). Also, we will ALL (and this means all of you) be hoping that the British government will grant me both work permission and a visa! Work permission has already been applied for here and after that comes through, visa will be applied for in the States.

The University of East Anglia offered me a position as Senior International Officer in their Marketing Division and I need to start as soon as possible (both because they need me and because I am running low on financial sustenance by this point -- hee hee). This job will entail my recruiting students to UEA from the US of A (hmmm. This sounds familiar, right? I wonder if I can manage it.) and from Australia and New Zealand (yippee! sadly, though, it appears that there is only one trip there per year.). UEA is in Norwich, England. There was a brief mention of a trip to Norwich on the blog in October, and yes, this was the reason for that journey.

It appears to have paid off and I am so excited to be moving there! Except for the fact that it is so blasted far away from my friends in Cardiff. Boo. It is not as Olde Worlde as York (my favourite) but is a lovely town with friendly people. And a yarn shoppe. And a yarn stall in the Market! Hoorah! Yarn is the way forward! It is about 1:45 train ride northeast from London and is the major city in East Anglia. It is a safe distance away from Ipswich :) A few weeks ago, some people were questioning my plan to move. ha.

At the moment, am in process of packing things away for storage at E's house (and am supposed to be sorting papers.... ick.). Jasper and Carrot will be moving there this evening. And of course, for the fun of moving, guess what. It is persisting it down outside... and this is forecast to continue all week.

Okay. Dear me. People are now emailing again re: 'where is the blog? when will you blog?' so must publish now! Keep your pants on!

The Happiest Christmas Tree

If that song is played tomorrow at Hawkin's Bazaar, I think I shall invest in a chainsaw.

Although, at the moment, my mood is fairly fabulous due to the glitter and aromatherapy effects of working all day at Lush :) So perhaps I will just continue with building the Homer Simpson 3-D jigsaw puzzle tomorrow. That is fun. Earlier in the week, I got to weave paper on a loom into the beginnings of a purse-ish type thing. Unfortunately, though, I had to leave to go to Lush and the other people couldn't get the purse to become a purse, so the attempt was discarded. So sad. These children's activities are terrifically more fun than hauling glow-in-the-dark juggling diabolos and 47 copies of How to Walk in High Heels up and down a very long flight of stairs. My thighs are getting some kind of work out, let me tell ya. I suppose this is good.

Today, part of my good mood is possibly due to the fact that I worked 10 hours and the store sold over 19,000GBP worth, bringing us to level 3 -- and this means that instead of 5.35 per hour, I made 10.35 per hour! Hoorah!

Must sleep now. Am ridonkulously tired. Lots of amusing things have happened this week, but my brain is not capable of remembering them. Oh, but I will write later about the Nigerian plagiarism that I am being paid to type up.... this is amusing :)

At work tomorrow at 9.00 a.m. Hope not to have to stand by the front door on thief watch under the freezing air blower -- this is pretty pointless as I am not personally a thief and therefore do not know exactly what to look for.